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"Can I get a ride"....No... "Oh, he's just a grump".

Wed Jul 28, 2010 6:19 PM EDT

health, mental-health, no, wheelchair, ride, errands, suggestion-box, snarky-attitude

By ADad-1477522

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I was on my way to the store to get "some essentials", when I came upon a young man and woman and a kid in a stroller. As I approached them the woman said "Can I get a ride". For those of u who don't know, I'm in a wheelchair, and I get asked that on almost a *daily* basis. I said: "No". Then, as I was passing them, she said in a loud tone: "Oh, he's just a grump". I said: "No, I'm not". They were headed in the opposite direction. Question 1 popped into my head as I was crossing the street: "Why would I give a woman a ride when she was obviously "a couple" w/ child. Question 2 popped into my head: Why ask for a ride if I was goin' in the opposite direction u needed to go???

So, now it goes from asking for a ride to makin' a snap judgment about me, all becuz I would not give her a ride. Had I given her a ride, would her male companion beat the crap out of me??? Let's just say, I wasn't wanting to find out...'k???

Yet, her snap judgment about me, that I was a grump, really *pissed me off*!!! I didn't know her, she didn't now me and she comes out and says that *I'm* a grump. Had I said what was on *MY* mind, I have no doubt her bones would have been runnin', cuz she would have been a pile of goop. But, I was on a mission. So I left her snarky attitude behind.

I'm trying my best to figure out a way to deal w these insensitive cretins, yet, I haven't really figured out a way *yet* that would keep me on *this side* of a jail cell.

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Public Discussion (70)

CoH, Thanx

4 votes

#1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 6:19 PM EDT

but you are a grump:) LOL...that is just really cheeky - i have never heard that before. BTW you might want to vote yourself up - it helps you get noticed...

5 votes

#1.1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 6:26 PM EDT

Ignore them when they ask the question. I have found that to be the easiest way.

3 votes

#1.2 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 6:45 PM EDT

Soph:

Me??? A grump??? Ok, well maybe (I know I'm no saint ... sometimes I can come across as an a$$hole, but a grump??? (whimper) lol.

4 votes

#1.3 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:46 PM EDT

Woodchip1:

Usually I do, but I've been havin' a rough day and her comments dug deep... That's one of the reasons I won't deal w women in person any more... They be a hefty bag full of garbage.

5 votes

#1.4 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:50 PM EDT

Knowlton's Rangers

Adad, I'd say "Hell yeah, let me get my a$$ out and walk for awhile because I sure would rather walk than ride this damn thing."

7 votes

#1.5 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:30 PM EDT

Knowlton's Ranger:

Oh, if it were only that simple... I miss walkin', but that's history. Why does it seem that the only sane people r in cyberspace??? All the idiots, and I use that term w extreme prejudice (sorry), seem to be within my general vicinity:-(

7 votes

#1.6 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:04 AM EDT

Knowlton's Rangers

Brother I hear you, I work with people and some of them just don't get it. I had three I had to escort out of a place tonight for fighting and they know their going to get kicked out....just dumb.

6 votes

#1.7 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:10 AM EDT

Hopefully cyber-proximity trumps geo-proximity.

3 votes

#1.8 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:11 AM EDT

KR:

I had to escort out of a place tonight for fighting

That's just upidstay:-( Sorry u had to deal w that.

4 votes

#1.9 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:20 AM EDT

AKC S:

Hopefully cyber-proximity trumps geo-proximity.

Always...exception, my daughter... would love to have her more geo-proximity... But that will come.

3 votes

#1.10 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:21 AM EDT

"Sure - as long as you hold my pee and poo bags." (whether you have them or not.)

4 votes

#2 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:42 PM EDT

Excellent, AKCS, abso-f@#$ing-lutely excellent!

3 votes

#2.1 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:48 PM EDT

I have my moments.....

3 votes

#2.2 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:57 PM EDT

FR sent... I had thought we were friends... U funny;-D

3 votes

#2.3 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:38 PM EDT

AKC S:

lol!!!

4 votes

#3 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:51 PM EDT

I love how you can take a seriously aggravating situation and reveal how utterly inane the whole thing is - with all of the absurdity being displayed by the other party. What did you do other than act respectfully and speak your mind honestly! ... Could she have been joking? I mean, seriously, are you in a position to *pimp* your ride!! - lol. Would she have needed to sit on your lap? This doesn't make sense to me either. Even if you have a set-up for cargo - it's still a rediculous request - whether she was headed in your direction or not. ... Now we can all know we are a little 'saner' than we thought we were!!

3 votes

#4 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:56 PM EDT

. Now we can all know we are a little 'saner' than we thought we were!!

That is so true CL - who knew that there where people out there who thought this was a viable proposition to give to ADAD - we are truly saner that we thought - even the maddest amongst us (and i include myself in that) would wonder about doing that!

2 votes

#4.1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:05 PM EDT

Hi Soph ---Yes, that was so crazy for someone to ask that! .. Does this mean ADad needs to have a sign --- " NO FREELOADERS " ...Geesh! Just unbelievable, huh!!

3 votes

#4.2 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:17 PM EDT

CL1:

There's only one freeloader in my life... but she's family;-D Yeah, it was surreal.

3 votes

#4.3 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:41 PM EDT

CL1:

I love how you can take a seriously aggravating situation

I get that asked of me at least 3-5 times a day. Some people just have their brain disconnected. That is the only conclusion that I can come up with. I just kept rollin' on my way. No,she was *seriously* angry that I would not give her a ride. U tell me: I'm a big ol' fat man w boobs (my daughter gave me that description one christmas, jokingly and I just thought its funny). Sure she could have sat on my lap. But my lap is only for my daughter... and that ended when she was able to walk. She loved gettin' a ride from her dad when she was younger. I'm not about to give some *strange chick* a ride... I don't need to be arrested for kidnappin'. Yet, had we been goin' the same direction and I was younger and in better shape,I *might* have given her a ride...*might*.

My chair tilts, so it *looks* "roomy". It is nothin' like the sofa that the kids had on a wheelchair motor, that they can't use any more on campus (it was on the news yesterday... very funny video).

Yeah, she was at least a cargo ship short of a full boat. hehe

4 votes

#5 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:14 PM EDT

To be asked that 3-5 times a day is shocking to me. I could imagine a request from young kids (maybe), but not 'adults.' ..And she would have to sit on your lap -- not that your lap is necessarily creepy, mind you, but most people wouldn't want to sit on someone they don't know, intentionally - would they??!! ..hahahahaha!

4 votes

#5.1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:24 PM EDT

CL1:

That's on a slow day... There be a lot of "unique" individuals that makeup my current community:

Here's a link that might explain it:

http://www.google.com/#hl=en&source=hp&q=portland+weirdest+city+in+america&aq=2&aqi=g5g-m5&aql=&oq=Portland+weird&gs_rfai=CKBW6eM5QTNXxOYPSiAPy14DDBAAAAKoEBU_QcPVm&pbx=1&fp=61a92ebfc7f08aa7

Enjoy;-)

3 votes

#5.2 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:44 PM EDT

ADad, it just so happens, imo, that link truly does explain everything. I have only had reason to be there maybe 5 or 6 times in my life -- but I totally agree with you!! ... It reminds me of a few places in the Seattle area, in all honesty. Of course, part of my bias against Portland is that I had an uncomfortable experience there several years ago. Even so... there's an 'aura' - lol. Thanks for the link.

2 votes

#5.3 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:57 PM EDT

Weird Portland is a good thing, ADad! When "weird" becomes the status quo, conformity is much more broadly defined. Weird is normal here which means I get to be normal without giving up all my weird. (I'm over here in suburban SW, where conformity is a bit more common.)

Your particular quandary strikes me as falling more into ignorant, rude or even flat out clueless more than weird.

2 votes

#5.4 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:16 PM EDT

CL1:

ADad, it just so happens, imo, that link truly does explain everything.

yeah, figured u'd like that;-)

3 votes

#5.5 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:28 PM EDT

AKC S:

ignorant, rude or even flat out clueless

No disagreement from this side (SE) of Portland...

3 votes

#5.6 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:30 PM EDT

ADad, you need to move to Eastern Oregon....we're not weird here...bawahahahahaha!

3 votes

#5.7 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:54 PM EDT

You live in EASTERN Oregon and you say you aren't weird....?

3 votes

#5.8 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:59 PM EDT

No, not at all....now strange, that word might fit us, but weird, nope, not at all, never....bawahahahahahahahaha

3 votes

#5.9 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:26 PM EDT

By the way, AKCS, friend request has been made....

2 votes

#5.10 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:31 PM EDT

Accepted....

3 votes

#5.11 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:15 PM EDT

Woodchip1:

we're not weird here

The reason I'm where I am; is to be near the best neurosurgeon. Too many medical issues to be out in "the wilderness"... But, if I were healthier, I'd jump at the chance;-)

3 votes

#5.12 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:36 PM EDT

Next time we plan a trip to Portland I would love to meet up with you...we could have a good laugh and a bite to eat.

3 votes

#5.13 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:27 PM EDT

Woodchip1:

That would be interesting;-)

3 votes

#5.14 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:53 PM EDT

Consider it a date! My hubby & I have talked about some of my friends on the 'Vine and he would love to meet you all, too!

3 votes

#5.15 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:58 PM EDT

Oh no... that means I'll have to get my rabies and distemper shots updated and make sure I don't have any nose hair and more than likely I'll have to put on clothes...lol

3 votes

#5.16 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:23 PM EDT

Clothes not a usual part of your daily routine, hmmm? Puts a whole new spin on the request for a ride.

2 votes

#5.17 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:59 PM EDT

AKC S:

Clothes not a usual part of your daily routine, hmmm?

When I'm in my apt, nope. When I go out,then, yeah. I just don't like goin' out cuz I get harassed a great deal and I don't like to deal w that aspect.

3 votes

#5.18 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:23 PM EDT

The Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormon missionaries and Avon ladies don't knock at your door twice!

<Wink>

2 votes

#5.19 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:28 PM EDT

I don't answer knocks on the door, unless it's maintenance, Police, Fire or Ambulance. Besides, I live in a secure building... No visitors allowed unless they call first.

2 votes

#5.20 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:37 PM EDT

That's freaky! She wanted you, man! She was diggin' Dad's chille! lol! oooooohh I'm tellin' mOM!!!! : )

5 votes

#6 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:04 PM EDT

She obviously likes crumpet:)

3 votes

#6.1 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:38 PM EDT

Ok, Soph... ur gonna have to explain:

She obviously likes crumpet:)

R u callin' me a doughy??? hehehehe

3 votes

#6.2 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:44 PM EDT

mtherof3:

(rollin' eyes)... now ya got me gigglin'... too funny, mther.;-D

5 votes

#7 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:11 PM EDT

so...can I have a ride?

5 votes

#7.1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:13 PM EDT

*If* we were closer, maybe. But I don't get involved w married women... as a rule. I don't want angry hubby comin' after me... That would be bad

5 votes

#7.2 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:23 PM EDT

Hey, I am close by (relatively speaking) and my hubby would be willing to push us around Portland...or Boardman if you want to come over here! Course, I might break your legs with my lard a$$!

I still can't believe that the idiot gal thought you should be "happy" about her asking you for a ride.......

4 votes

#7.3 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:57 PM EDT

Woodchip1:

Hey, I am close by (relatively speaking)

As long as I'm near a power outlet, I'm good... I got two chairs. One I use all the time (power) and my back up (manual). That way we save ur hubby's back. I'd probably get bored, man in Boardman... (just jokin'... but u haven't heard that at all...);-D I wouldn't feel it if they were broke...SCA at T-6.

Yeah, we got all kinds of nutcases here in Portland... self included... I'm insane... or so the voices inside my have have told me... But, I don't listen to them. They're snobs...

3 votes

#7.4 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:49 PM EDT

ADad, ... in + sane = insane must be a good thing. ;)

3 votes

#7.5 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:56 PM EDT

CL1:

hehe. I love bein' insane... I just don't tolerate some of the *crazies*...lol

4 votes

#7.6 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:05 PM EDT

Ditto!! ;)

3 votes

#7.7 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:11 PM EDT

The unofficial name of our town is Boredom, lol....and it sounds like you would fit right in!

2 votes

#7.8 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:29 PM EDT

My uncle was in a wheel chair (motorized) and if someone had asked him for a ride as they walked by he'd have a few choice words for them.

4 votes

#8 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:06 PM EDT

Drizzey:

he'd have a few choice words for them.

Oh, I've had a few choice words... On here, they would most definitely be *censored*. I'm gettin' to the point where I've had enough of people. There r so many jerks around, that it just isn't any fun to go out much any more. I use to go out all the time. Now, I rarely go out becuz I'm tired of bein' harassed.

4 votes

#8.1 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:49 PM EDT

That's garbage. I'm sorry you get treated that way. If I ever saw someone treating someone in a wheel chair like that I'm pretty damn sure the spirit of my uncle would flow through me.

3 votes

#8.2 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:54 PM EDT

Well, I don't want to get arrested... Cuz even though I'm in a wheelchair, having to lift and transfer dead weight of over 230lbs, my upper body is fairly strong and I do know self defense... That alone has kept me from goin' postal on someone.

4 votes

#8.3 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:06 PM EDT

coloradoan-1141358

ADad,

That was pretty rude of that "lady". Next time, how about saying "sure, have a seat on my lap and let me know if anything pops up?"

5 votes

#9 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:26 PM EDT

coloradoan:

She's just lucky I didn't have my handcuffs w me. "Come on over and I'll hand cuff ya to the chair". I just didn't understand her logic. She was w her guy and she he had a stroller w a small girl in it, and she asks that type of question??? Then when I say "no", she calls me "grump". My one remainin' brain cell didn't compute... It just kinda stared at my mind, goin'.... *huh*???

5 votes

#9.1 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:33 PM EDT

coloradoan-1141358

Sounds like she's just an insensitive person who was trying to be "funny".

5 votes

#9.2 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:30 PM EDT

she's just an insensitive person

I've run into way too many durin' my lifetime... Gettin' tired of it. Her "funny" missed the mark.

5 votes

#9.3 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:16 PM EDT

coloradoan-1141358

Gettin' tired of it.

I don't blame you at all.

4 votes

#9.4 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:19 PM EDT

I don't blame you at all.

Thanx. Had I not been in a hurry, I would have read her a nice riot act.

4 votes

#9.5 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:07 PM EDT

Jerry Verlinger

aDad,

I am sure that insensitive question is only made as what they perceive to be a "joke". I would respond with (depending on my mood) either "Sure hop aboard!" or, "You don't want to ever have to ride in one of these!"

#10 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:20 PM EDT

Maybe, "Sure - If you'll return the favor."

All joking aside, there is no cure for insensitivity, not really. I'm not surprised that there are thick skinned morons out there in the world, just that there are so many of them. It sucks that you have to deal with this disrespect on a regular basis.

2 votes

#11 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:38 PM EDT

AKC S:

"Sure - If you'll return the favor."

Oh she wasn't my type... Yet, she looked like she belonged on the corner... if u get my drift.

4 votes

#11.1 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:01 PM EDT

So she wanted a ride in your wheelchair? I thought in your vehicle. How strange to ask a complete stranger something like that? WTF?

2 votes

#12 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:45 PM EDT

sunnybunny:

So she wanted a ride in your wheelchair?

Yeah, kinda creepy... I mean would *u* want a ride from a total stranger in a wheelchair???

3 votes

#13 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:03 PM EDT

I'm not an uptight person, but I'd probably politely decline an offer of a ride in a wheelchair with a total stranger. I sure wouldn't ask for one. Who does that? I'd have to be pretty close friends with someone to ride in their wheelchair with them. You know what I mean?

2 votes

#13.1 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:16 AM EDT

sunnybunny:

Who does that?

U'd be surprised. about 95% r girls and women and 5% r young guys (bein' smart a$$e$). Oh, yeah, I know what ya mean. I use to give my daughters friends rides, when we were younger... They thought it was "kinda cool".

3 votes

#14 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:43 AM EDT

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