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"People like u just need to die, so ur not a burden on society" Dealing w disabilities

Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:00 AM EDT

health, disabled, martial-arts, wheelchair, bitterness, burden-on-society, hatred-of-disabled

By ADad-1477522

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Some people r just so warm and fuzzy... ya just want to smack 'em a good one. Yet, they have it worse off, all due to their hatred of people that may be differently able then themselves.

I can not imagine what it is like to be "normal"... as in *not* disabled. Yet, thru my experiences over the 50 yrs that I have lived on the planet; I can tell u that there is a great deal of people that don't like others that r disabled. They show it in their words.

Had they been the one sittin' in a wheelchair, they might have a different perspective. I'm just wonderin' how they would respond to an almost daily barrage of insults. Would they lash out??? Would they blow it off. Dependin' on what I'm doing, sometimes I stop and give 'em a piece of my mind (which could account for the fact that I'm down to my last remainin' brain cell).

I was told recently, "People like u, just need to die so that ur not a burden on society". Oh, like I haven't heard that about once a yr for the last 45 yrs. I just looked at him and said, look "Scrooge", I've heard that a number of times before and it gets old. So, if u don't want to kill me, leave me alone and be on ur way. Then he looked at me and did see something by my right leg. The other thing that he didn't know is that I know martial arts and so if he were to attack, well, he'd be on the floor in a minute.

Hey, just cuz I'm disabled doesn't mean I'm defenseless. Besides, what they don't know, *CAN* hurt them;-)

I'm not an attackin' type person. Yet, I know how to defend myself and *will*, when needed.

Bitterness and hatred r rampant. Some people need to take a chill pill and get over themselves. What they don't know is they could easily be in a wheelchair... Then what would they do???

I've fought (figuratively) throughout my whole life; just to survive. Death doesn't mean anything to me. Been too close a number of times. So, when I do die, it's not gonna be any problem.

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Public Discussion (42)

CoH, Thanx!!!

3 votes

#1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:01 AM EDT

Very good article. I don't know where you are but you have an abundance of cruel and unusual people. Anyone who would make such a statement to another person is very troubled within themselves. Sometimes I too travel on wheels, but people are mostly nice, and some are even helpful.

My husband is my escort so that may be the difference, I don't know.

I have experienced people turning away from me or ignoring me and it is rather obvious. I think people just can't deal with the fact that they could be us. Just like they can't face their own mortality.

They have to be pitied, and loved in their ugliest of moments. I will explain tomorrow as I got no sleep last night and my eyets are now seeing double. Untill tomorrow..............thank you for your article and take care...........Theresa

4 votes

#2 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 4:33 AM EDT

Thanx, Theresa. I'm not sure if it's the location or what. Yet, there r some super people around. Don't get me wrong. The super cool outweigh the really nasty. I tend to focus on the *absurdity* of folks. I mean, there r over 45-50 million disabled individuals in the nation. So, we're *not* an unknown entity.

I live alone so, when I go out, I do tend to run into some mouthy individuals.

Have a great day... I gotta do laundry and clean my apt... *YUCK*!!!

6 votes

#2.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:41 AM EDT

Adad- A burden to who for what?? I wonder if anybody ever told these people that there is lots of ways to contribute, like ideas, education, arts, and other work involving the mind. Sadly the people you are talking about wouldn't know anything about those kinds of contributions, more's the pity. JJ

6 votes

#3 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:28 AM EDT

A burden to who for what??

Exactly. I usually chalk it up to them having a bad day... They vent and make themselves feel better. Oh well. They usually r the self-centered folks that think the world revolves around them, and somehow, I'm *intruding* on their serene liassez faire life. Oh well. Sometimes, it's like if they *look*at me, they think they'll turn to stone...lol I just think people r nuts and not the good kind either. hehe

6 votes

#4 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:50 AM EDT

Freedom Writer-801740

Adad I am sorry that you have had to experience people who are that idiotic. I have 2 very good friends that are in wheelchairs one is paralyzed from the waist down, the other just has bad legs and is unable to walk long distances and i feel very blessed to have them in my life. they have gifted me some of the best times that I have experienced on earth. For people to assume someone with a disability is somehow inferior just goes to show how evil those people are. I wouldnt trade my friends with their disabilities for anything in this world, and IMO those people that are wishing for your death would be better off dead because it would make our society better.

5 votes

#5 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:15 PM EDT

FW:

For the most part, I just go about my business. If people made snide remarks, I just shake my head or roll my eyes and move on. Some of them; though; need to have a muzzle put on them...lol. With the size of my chair, if I was *really* mean, could do some serious damage... But then I wouldn't want them to be in a wheelchair. They couldn't survive. Over the yrs I've thought that it takes a real piece of work to insult someone so harshly. Then I think, well, the world is getting quite mean. So, I leather up. Kevlar works good too;-)

6 votes

#6 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:01 PM EDT

ADad, just to finish up my former comment here. I have come to realize that it is easy to love the lovable. It is nearly impossible to love those who behave in an ugly or unreasonable manner towards us (any of us, disabled or not). It is a goal of mine in life to "love the ugliest" of people anyway, because I believe that in this life I am given the opportunity to love the unlovable, and that is my challenge. That thinking isn't for everybody, but it works for me.

Talk to you soon.........Theresa

4 votes

#7 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:01 PM EDT

Theresa:

Oh how cool!!! We haven't met... I'm U-G-L-Y...lol Hey, we all play to our strengths. Take it EZ!!!

3 votes

#7.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:45 PM EDT

When I was in my undergraduate program, I had a roommate that had serial palsy because he was born with his umbilical cord around his neck. Unfortunately, he was born a year before they developed procedures to prevent major injury when that happens. Because of that, he had only partial use of his left side and was subject to strokes. He was most certainly disabled and got a monthly check that allowed him to live better than I could on my measly salary and he got his from the government without having to work. He had a better computer than me, nicer stuff, and had a lot more free time than me.

Yes, I felt jealous and recentful at times, but there was always one thing that stuck in the back of my head that bubbled to the surface whenever I thought that way. The man truly loved baseball. He knew more about baseball than anyone I'd ever met and I don't mean by a little, but a lot. The other thing too was that he had a good build for a pitcher. He was 6 foot three and had a wiry frame but because of his disability, he could never play. If asked whether he would give up his disability checks so he could just be able to play the game he loved, I'm sure he would have jumped at the chance. That always humbled me.

Oh, and where's he at now? He eventually joined the peace core and probably does more to help people in a year than I can do in five. So if he handn't gotten help from the government, he wouldn't be in a position to help others right now.

I'm very sorry you have to experience these things, ADad. People are far too cruel and they don't truly understand because they've never been there. However, people who are disabled still have a lot to offer this country and our society. Take my roommate for example.

6 votes

#8 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:01 PM EDT

Here:

Sounds like he really made quite an impact on *your* life. Cerebral palsy is not the most fun, but luckily for me it doesn't affect my hands and arms... only my legs. And since I'm paralyzed, it has no real effect on me any more. Not sure if being paralyzed is something I'd have wished for, but since I am, I have to do what I can w what I got, for now.

Don't be sorry for me. Yet, I understand what ur saying. I'm just as "normal" as I can be. All the same emotions u have, I get too. People like those that I wrote about don't really engage their brain before speaking... It's not their fault. It's common to say things before we have a chance to think things thru... I know I stick my foot in my mouth, more then once a week... What can I say, I'm human;-D Ur roommate sounds like a really interesting guy. The same goes for u to.

We'll have to get to know each other thru our writings;-) Have a great afternoon.

3 votes

#8.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:58 PM EDT

I'm glad you don't let them get to you. Heck, Stephen Hawkings probably does more for his field in one day then they do in their entire lifetime. I hardly think anyone would suggest that he should just die and stop bothering society.

You're right, though. We all have our challenges in life but in the end we're all the same, we're human.

"We'll have to get to know each other thru our writings;-) Have a great afternoon."

Thanks, and the same to you. I've seen you around and I'm sure we'll get to know each other better.

4 votes

#8.2 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:00 PM EDT

I'm glad you don't let them get to you.

I try not to... Yet, I have my bad days too and no one wants to be near me when I'm in one of my *moods*. The only one that can relate to me and get me to calm down is my daughter.

I respect Stephen Hawkings, but I respectfully disagree w some of his views regarding *contact*. But, that's another topic altogether;-)

3 votes

#8.3 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:15 PM EDT

Don't worry, we all have bad days and usually I lock myself away so I won't bring others into my bad mood. It's good that you can confide in your daughter. I do much the same when my father's having one of his bad days. We all have varying ways to cope.

As far as Hawkings goes, he's human too so he makes mistakes as well. After all, some of Einstein's theories were found to be a bit off but the field was a bit more theoretical in his time but, that is, as you say, another topic altogether.

4 votes

#8.4 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:20 PM EDT

We all have varying ways to cope.

Yeah, target shooting is my nirvana;-) But, when I can't get there, I get ahold of my daughter and she helps me *refocus*.

Hawkings is cool... It's just a couple of his views that leave me scratchin' my head. lol. Shhh... Einstein was my idol, when I had hair...lol In fact, I tried to mimic his hair "style" by sticking a knife in an electric socket... Blew the fuse and made my hand *tingle*... Hey, I was 6... I was as dumb as a post back then...lol

1 vote

#8.5 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:04 PM EDT

Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm also a big fan of Eistein. It's just that great men can equally make great mistakes. It is our capacity to create or destroy, a double edge sword that cuts both ways, that, in part, defines us.

My brother did roughly the same thing about the same age. Before he was born, I'd given our mother a pair of stainless steal sowing scissors for mothers day. One day he somehow managed to get his hands on them and decided to cut the electrical cord to her sewing machine while she was using it. It burned a whole through the metal and yet he was fine. He was always like that. One time our sister even managed to convince him to walk across hot coals. I guess it all came as shock to us when we found out he actually is pretty smart. He's now about to graduate with a pre-med degree and is shooting for his PHD in chemistry. He also beats me roughly a little bit more than half in chess and go which is a constant irritation for me since I'm about ten years his senior.

I like target shooting but I don't get a change to do it very often. Another stress reliever that I haven't done in a while is skydiving. These days it's much more tame like settling in with a good book.

#8.6 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:22 PM EDT

Here: No worries... I was jokin';-)

great men can equally make great mistakes.

Yeah, the greatest mistake I made was backin' out... (I was a breech birth). I shoulda stayed in there for a little bit of "drivers ed"...lol

He's now about to graduate with a pre-med degree

Oh, that's aweme!!! My daughter is (I think), I junior. She said she's gonna check out sociology and see how that goes. She was pre-med, then meteorology, not sociology. I'll wait til she has her diploma to figure out what her next step is. hehe. Ah, chess!!! Love it!!! Play it on my computer all da time. Keeps my mind thinkin'. I'll let u sky dive... I'll sit in the plane, thank u very much...lol Depends on the book. I like medical examiner books (about various cases). Really fun (for me).

#8.7 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:00 PM EDT

Thanks,

We're really proud of him. I may be on my second Masters but I got to hand it to him. Chemistry? Really? That sounds like too much work. That's why I got into skydiving. Mountain climbing was too much work. Falling is a lot easier than climbing.

If you like chess, though, you should check out go. It's way more strategic and a lot more fun.

2 votes

#8.8 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:42 PM EDT

Ur welcome;-)

Yeah, sounds like i;-) Second Masters!!! Can we say *NERD*. lol (just joking). I didn't finish college, health got in the way:-( Chem was my downfall:-( I didn't have the brain for Chem. Like I said, I'll stay in the plane, thanx...lol. I have the upper bod for mountain climbing, but my lower bod just hangs there... boo. Falling is much easier than climbing... but, I like to fall from closer to the ground. Hey, I fall outta my wheelchair at least once a day. Then I just sit there and laugh, shakin' my head.

Love chess... Trying to understand go.... Haven't gotten there yet.

#8.9 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:02 PM EDT

Yeah, I'm a bit of a nerd. I'm also an IT project manager and a software developer and, yes, as the stereotype goes, I also like anime. There, happy now? You've gotten me to admit my nerdiness. :)

I'm also still figuring out go although it's a lot of fun. My problem is clearly identifying the transition from begin / middle / end game. I have this habit, from chess, that when I'm attacked, I tend to go all out but that isn't the best way. I've begun experimenting with the different shapes, capturing territories, and stopping attacks. There's a couple of great sites to play on, if you haven't tried them already. You mentioned you like playing chess online, do you do the same with go?

1 vote

#8.10 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:08 PM EDT

I can't imagine people actually say that crap to your face! My hat is off to you for dealing with the abuse in a rational manner. I tend to find that people with minds like that are burdens on society, not the disabled.

Take care, ADad, and thank you for keeping the peace!

{{{{{ADad}}}}}

5 votes

#9 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 4:27 PM EDT

Holly: Yeah,very interesting individual, for sure...lol Take Care urself;-)

5 votes

#9.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 6:01 PM EDT

Yet, they have it worse off, all due to their hatred of people that may be differently able then themselves.

That sums it up perfectly!! I can't imagine what it would be to go through life being so ugly and miserable and wouldn't want to find out. You have an awesome attitude.

4 votes

#10 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 4:39 PM EDT

There r people that just don't like *seeing* the disabled. It really, really makes them feel uncomfortable. So give them a buffer zone and things should be fine.

3 votes

#10.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 6:04 PM EDT

The way I see it some people have a lot of inner strength and others have very little. Those who have very little like to "insulate" themselves and find ways to convince themselves that the "bad, scarey" things out there can't happen to them. When faced with any kind of reminder that they aren't as safe as the lies they've told themselves indicate, they get really really uncomfortable. I pity those people and try to just leave them alone. I figure they're suffering anyhow by their own mental torment.

1 vote

#10.2 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:18 AM EDT

Justme:

convince themselves that the "bad, scarey" things out there can't happen to them.

That comment reminded me *so* much of my aunt. When was growing up, our whole family went to a "family reunion". Well, she didn't want me or my brother (who is also disabled) to play w her kids, becuz *she* thought that "whatever" we had, her kids might "catch". Well, u can't *catch* hydrocephalus or cerebral palsy. When my mom heard what her sister said to my brother and me, she took her sister (our aunt) aside and laid into her. It was *sooo* extremely fun to watch her cower. She finally allowed her kids to play w us and we (all the kids) had a great time. But, being the '60's she was quite uneducated in various health issues. Too bad she's gone. She died about 10 yrs later.

1 vote

#10.3 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:29 AM EDT

Lol now your story reminds me of my great-grandmother. She had a cancerous tumor in her lung she was being treated for and was talking about it to me. She gave her hubby a death look and declared "I KNOW he gave me the cancer! He had it on his skin!" It's amazing how in the dark some folks are about health issues. I was blown away more recently on the vine by the fact that there are still people out there who think AIDS is a "homosexual" disease.

Ya can't fix stupid and unfortunately we have to share the planet with the good and the bad! I hope you can recognize the ingorance for what it is and never believe that it is any indication of your true value to this world.

1 vote

#10.4 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:38 AM EDT

Ya can't fix stupid

Yeah, there be plenty of stupid out there. Has anyone checked the chlorine levels in the gene pool??? lol.

1 vote

#10.5 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:52 AM EDT

Has anyone checked the chlorine levels in the gene pool???

Oops...that's my fault. Sorry! I've been distracting the pool guy from his duties ;)

1 vote

#10.6 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:05 AM EDT

I've been distracting the pool guy from his duties ;)

(burlesque music playin' in my head)...lol

#10.7 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:16 AM EDT

Nah more along the line of Tone Loc Wild Thing Lol!!!

1 vote

#10.8 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:20 AM EDT

That made me literally laugh out loud. Too funny!!!

1 vote

#10.9 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:51 AM EDT

sorry to hear what you've gone through. I know what it feels like to be told to hurry up and die so as not to be a burden on society.very uncool. very hurtfull

2 votes

#11 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:58 PM EDT

very uncool.

Yeah, very...

2 votes

#12 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:07 PM EDT

I'm stunned someone would actually say something like that to a disabled person. That really leaves me speechless.

3 votes

#13 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:27 PM EDT

Oh, I get it quite frequently. Usually punk kids or people w bad attitudes.

2 votes

#13.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:03 PM EDT

IT project manager and a software developer

Impressive!!! Don't suppose ya use punch cards (that's where I learned about computers when I was a kid). To be a project manager and software developer takes way more patience then I have. I was fine w BASIC and learned some Fortran. COBOL was a trip. Then OS/2 and Win 3.1....lol Now, it's Win 7. Yeah, I'm happy... (drippin' sarcasm).

I play chess that comes w Win 7. It's not online but in the "Games" part of Win 7. It reminds me of Chess 2000. Haven't played go online, yet. Trying to understand it.

1 vote

#14 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:27 PM EDT

I have to admit that punch cards were a bit before me but I did get my first start on the first personal IBM computer which had no hardrive, 4 megs of ram, a five and a quarter floppy, and an 8088 motherboard. It also had a monochrome monitor and I still remember feeling awed when they came out with a monitor that had three colors, lol.

I remember Win 3.1 and felt disdain for it because I couldn't ever imagine it replacing DOS. BOY was I wrong. I also played around with Basic, Fortran, and COBOL, although I'm more fluent in C, C++, .NET, SQL, and Java (although I HATE Java).

If you ever want to play a game of Go, I can show you a site where we can play a game. I'll try and explain it as we go. It's fascinating and once you get your arms around it, I expect you'll like it a lot.

2 votes

#14.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:42 PM EDT

U haven't lived until u played w punch cards;-) And ripped ur hair out cuz in the *MIDDLE* of that humongous stack of punch cards there is an error. Then u throw the cards to the other side of the room, out of anxiety... *woops*!!!

WOW!!! My first computer (Tandy SL/2, had 512K of memory. Memory was expensive "back in the day". I was giddy when they came out w color monitors too;-)

I love DOS... Getting use to GUI...lol. Being an IT and developer, u'll need the C, C++, SQL, etc. I'll keep my training wheels on;-D Java is not a friend of mine...

I'll keep that in mind. I gotta learn more about it. Don't want u to go all over me...hehe.

1 vote

#15 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 11:10 PM EDT

Oops, meant 512k too

No, I haven't pulled my hair out at punch cards but I have worked for hours on a problem with the OS, turned it off out of frustration (otherwise I was going to throw the damn thing out the window) and then come back hours later to find that the issue was no longer a problem. Computers back then were so much more difficult to work with.

As far as go goes (scuse the pun) that's going to happen in the first game regardless. However, once you figure out how to migrate your chess skills over to go, you won't have a problem. It's all about figuring out how to deal with a bigger board and different moves. Trust me, you'll be fine. Even if you wanted to have a game where I talked to you over skype and explained the game, I'd be willing. If nothing else, I'll pick up another opponent to test my skills on.

1 vote

#15.1 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 11:25 PM EDT

Oops, meant 512k too

Yeah, it was *so* long ago, that u forgot;-D (ur memory might need upgrading...lol). Oh man, I remember days/nites like that. One day I was working on my BBS and was working on the file program. I mispelled one an "if/then" and it took me all day. Got pissed. Turned off the computer, went to bed, woke up and turned the machine back on. Then looked at the *.bat file and it was if I just got b*tchslapped. Too funny. I like the computers of old. I love my *.bat files;-)

We *both* knew that pun was coming...hehe Maybe this weekend. That might be interesting. We'll keep in touch.

#15.2 - Thu Aug 12, 2010 11:54 PM EDT

Yeah, the computers of old were a lot different. Jumpers, twists in the cables, stability issues, and the software still makes me smile (bittersweet, of course). Now it's all plug'n'play, universal wires, and everything just snaps in. I think it's funny when my brother asks me to install a new graphics card or harddrive. All you do now is open up the box, screw it in place, boot it up, and let the software do the rest. And he needs me to do it? Or Best Buy want's to charge almost a hundred dollars to do it? Laughable. Anybody can do it these days.

1 vote

#15.3 - Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:21 AM EDT

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